


3 A.M. I'm in love

by TheHolyToenail



Category: Buzz (Korea Band), Super Junior, 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 03:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHolyToenail/pseuds/TheHolyToenail
Summary: Sometimes all it takes is a slip of the tongue at 3 A.M. for your life to change





	3 A.M. I'm in love

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Things you said when you thought I was asleep

Heechul normally did not let people stay over at his house. There were a couple of reasons for that, the main two being that; 1. He really did not enjoy cooking and thus had very little food in his home; and 2. he had a horrible sleep schedule as a result of being an idol for perhaps too long. However, Kyunghoon was practically the same, so Heechul didn’t mind him staying over.

It happened more often these days than either of them liked to admit. Whether it was because Kyunghoon felt suffocated at home, a gaming tournament between the two to see who could stay awake the longest or just because their Knowing Brothers shoot took longer than expected, Kyunghoon slept in Heechul’s bed almost as much as his own.

The sleepovers had become such a habit, that Heechul had even more trouble falling asleep when Kyunghoon wasn’t there. As if his brain subconsciously kept wondering when Kyunghoon would come back to bed. The realisation that his brain drifted towards thoughts about his co-host a lot more these days had been bothering Heechul a lot the past few weeks and it was the reason why he still was not asleep 3 hours after Kyunghoon and he had gone to bed.

For the nth time, Heechul rolled over, now facing Kyunghoon’s back once more. It made him relax a little, looking at the rise and fall of his shoulders. They had forgotten to close the curtains completely again, Heechul realised. It was a thing that should bother him a lot, but it didn’t. He liked sitting in quite a dark home all day, curtains closed and no sunlight seeping through. Kyunghoon was different, he got a headache from too much artificial light. So they had met in the middle, Heechul allowing Kyunghoon to open the curtains a little so that some sunlight would fall into the room.

Now, in the middle of the night, it was the light from billboards, streetlights and cars that shone into the bedroom, setting an odd mood. Heechul sighed. This was no good. He was contemplating his life again, thinking about what he would say to Kyunghoon if he really had the courage to find the words to describe what his heart felt.

“Like I’d ever tell you that I love you”, Heechul whispered, letting his head rest gently against Kyunghoon’s back. It felt relieving to acknowledge it and say it, he had to admit. Even though Kyunghoon would never hear it. The steady breathing rhythm soon lulled Heechul to sleep, mind finally quiet.

\---

The next morning, Kyunghoon was gone when Heechul woke up. He was not in their bed, as Heechul’s treacherous mind called it. The living room, kitchen and bathroom were empty too. There were no signs of Kyunghoon having spent the night here, no notes, clothes, nothing. Not even a text message that let Heechul know where Kyunghoon had gone.

A part of Heechul was immediately worried, ready to call whoever he needed to, eager to find out where Kyunghoon had gone. His more rational part was, that Kyunghoon had his own life, his own schedule and that he had no reason to tell Heechul everything. Maybe he had just forgotten about something and he had to leave early.

So he didn’t text Kyunghoon immediately, certainly did not call the police and instead took a shower, browsed his SNS and answered some emails before sending Kyunghoon a message.

 **From:** _Heechul-oppa <3_

_Kyunghoonie, thank you for keeping me company yesterday. Good luck at your schedule today, fighting!_

He then slowly forgot about the message when his computer let him know that someone had challenged him in his online game and his attention was absorbed into showing them who's boss. It only occurred to him that Kyunghoon had not responded yet hours later, when he took a much needed bathroom break. It was getting dark outside again and Heechul wondered if something had happened after all.

Heechul sent another message, letting Kyunghoon know that he had just beat his high score and that he hoped Kyunghoon was resting well after a busy day. There wasn’t much else he could do. Defeated, he ordered his favourite dish as a consolement for himself and went to bed early, scrolling on his phone and rewatching compilations of animals and funny TV moments.

\---

It took Kyunghoon three days to respond to the message Heechul had sent. With every passing day, Heechul had felt more and more anxious, but he didn’t dare to send another message. He didn’t want to seem too clingy after all. When Kyunghoon’s message arrived, Heechul was on the other side of the house and he did not sprint towards his phone. Not at all.

 **From** : _Favourite Dongsaeng <3_

_Hey hyung, sorry for disappearing for three days. My mother needed some help with some things, that’s also why I’ve only now replied. Things took a bit longer than expected. Are you free any time soon?_

Heechul breathed in relief when he read the message. Nothing bad had happened, Kyunghoon was fine. He didn’t need to worry anymore. But then, why did it feel like something was wrong? Why did he feel so distant through his texts?

He let Kyunghoon know that he’d be busy until their next shoot on Thursday, which was two days from now. Maybe by then the strange, gnawing feeling in his chest would go away.

During the shoot of the latest episode of Knowing Brothers, everything was normal. Heechul joked around with everyone, held hands with Kyunghoon, flirted with the guests and was in his element. Kyunghoon was less enthusiastic than normal, which Heechul chalked up to the fact that the guests were members of a boy band.

They decided to watch a movie at Heechul’s place, after ordering take out and drinking a little. It was almost a routine for them at this point: They’d come home, order food and grab some drinks, watch a movie or play games, while Heechul was in some way draped over Kyunghoon. Tonight, Heechul felt very needy and he had curled himself against Kyunghoon’s side, their hands intertwined and his head resting on the other’s shoulder.

Halfway through the movie, Heechul felt his eyes droop and his attention wavering. He didn’t really fall asleep yet, but he dosed a little, closed eyes and breathing steady. The movie kept playing and was a nice background noise, keeping Heechul from thinking about too many things. He felt Kyunghoon stroking his hand with his thumb, probably absent minded and absorbed in the movie.

“I was awake that night, hyung.” Kyunghoon’s whisper almost startled Heechul, but he stopped himself in time. How, he didn’t know.  
“I heard you. When you said that you love me. I was so surprised you know? I never would have thought, never would have dare to even dream about that. Because hyung, I love you too. But I won’t tell you that. Not yet, at least. I love the relationship we have now, and I am too shy to do something about it. So I hope, that you will one day confess to me for real. And not when I’m sleeping.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t do the same thing”, Kyunghoon said with a soft laugh, and he lifted Heechul’s hand to his lips. “But I couldn’t help myself, I just had to tell you. Even if you won’t hear me.”

It took every bit of willpower from Heechul to not snap his head up and kiss Kyunghoon then. Or at least tell him he heard him. He really hoped his erratic heartbeat was not loud enough for Kyunghoon to be heard.

So this is what Kyunghoon probably had felt that night. And it was probably also why he had left early, without letting Heechul know. If he knew the other even a little bit, it was that Kyunghoon did not like confrontations. He was a little shy and the confession had probably shocked him a lot. Heechul couldn’t blame him for his reaction.

Ahh, what was he going to do? Kyunghoon had basically asked him to take responsibility, to be the mature one in this. But Heechul was not good at dating, unlike people always thought. His relationships never lasted long because he was an overthinker. He also bottled up his feelings too much, which made his past lovers upset. They never knew what was going on inside his head. Just thinking about confessing to Kyunghoon and changing their dynamics almost sent Heechul into a panic attack.

\---

When Heechul finally managed to fall asleep, sunlight was already peeking through the curtains. He dreamt peacefully, something about going for a walk and holding hands with Kyunghoon. Maybe they even kissed. When he woke up, Kyunghoon was still there, staring at him with a lazy smile. His hair was a mess and he had imprints on his skin from lying weirdly, but he looked… Happy?

“Yah, why are you staring at me like that”, Heechul said, pinching Kyunghoon’s side.  
“No reason. You just looked peaceful.”  
Well, Heechul never pegged Kyunghoon to be so sappy. He didn’t mind that much, but it made his stomach do somersaults.  
“Oh…”

They stayed like that for a bit, Heechul still holding onto Kyunghoon. Just looking at each other, enjoying the company of the other.  
“We should probably get up and eat something”, Heechul said, voice low.  
“We should.”

He didn’t know how to behave around this Kyunghoon. The soft, happy looking Kyunghoon, with a gently smile that seemed to only be reserved for Heechul. The Kyunghoon that didn’t let go of his hand as they walked around the house in their pajamas, while they drank their coffee, or while they were brushing their teeth.

When Heechul finally did speak, he almost asked Kyunghoon to stay with him forever. The new level of skinship made him feel giddy and excited. Secretly, he wanted more. He wanted to hold Kyunghoon more, hug him, maybe even kiss him. Thoughts that he normally would only allow in the deepest of the night suddenly flooded his mind.

“Kyunghoonie… Did our hands get glued together or something?”, he asked instead, and Kyunghoon’s smile fell. He let go of Heechul’s hand as if burned.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be clingy”, Kyunghoon said. Heechul grabbed Kyunghoon’s hand again.  
“That’s not what I meant. I like it. It’s just… Normally we don’t have as much skinship and I wondered if something changed.”  
Kyunghoon eyed him wearily for a moment, before shaking his head.

“No, everything is fine hyung. I guess you clinging onto me for the whole night had some effect on me”, he said jokingly.  
“Seems like it”, Heechul said dryly. What was he supposed to do with this man? Or himself? Kyunghoon might be the death of him if this gets any worse.

“Kyunghoon-ah…”, he started, grabbing his other hand. “Kyunghoon-ah, you… I-” Heechul was sure his face was red right now. It was so nerve wrecking, trying to confess to someone you never dared to think about too much. Kyunghoon’s expression softened.  
“You were awake, weren’t you, hyung? Last night? You heard my monologue, didn’t you?”

Kyunghoon cursed softly.  
“It was not supposed to be like this you know? You were supposed to be really cool, hyung, confessing somewhere or just kissing me out of nowhere. But not… Not like this”, he told Heechul, caressing his red cheek. “Blushing, stammering… Hell, I thought I would be you in this situation”, he laughed softly.

“Yah! Min Kyunghoon!” Heechul punched his shoulder lightly. “Are you making fun of your hyung?”  
Kyunghoon smiled. “No, I’m making fun of my boyfriend.” And with that, he placed a soft kiss on Heechul’s forehead, his nose, and finally his lips. “If you want to, that is”, he hurried to say when he saw Heechul’s shocked expression.

Instead of an answer, Heechul grabbed Kyunghoon’s shirt and pulled him closer, kissing him until he saw stars. “Of course I do, you big idiot. Of course I want to.”


End file.
